My parents are Christians and I have gone to church my entire life. When I was young, I knew that I did not want to go to hell because it sounded like a very scary place; however, I was too afraid to make this decision public. One night I heard my mom and my younger brother talking about how he was going to walk down the aisle and accept Christ the next Sunday, so I told my parents that I wanted to go with him.
In middle school, my parents sent me to a Christian school where my friends would be a positive influence. With the understanding that walking down a church aisle as a child made me a Christian I continued to think of myself as such although my behavior demonstrated the contrary. Slowly I began to notice how few of the Christians in my Christian school acted like Christ. I wanted to be different; I wanted to act like a real Christian so I began developing a very legalistic lifestyle.
From my Christian education, I had a lot of head knowledge about God and in college I wrote papers about Christ, and told others about Him. I was even involved at several of my friend’s churches around town. Several college guys at a church I was attending began to invest time in me and as I learned more about their relationship with God, it became increasingly apparent that I did not know God the way they did. I enrolled in an evangelism class they were teaching and the more I read, the more I came to understand the Gospel, the harder I had to try to convince myself that I knew God and did not just know of Him. It was through this that God broke my heart, my pride, and I responded to His grace and submitted to the lordship of Christ.